It is getting late and I'm not to worried anymore.

There is a sizeable distance between myself and who I was. It might not be noticible to anyone right now or ever but I can tell.

I drift off. I go through the motions. I dream. I get things done for the most part.

I catch myself staring into space and the night sky without a thought in my mind. I slept by the ocean today because I couldn't shake this weird feeling I've been having lately. I can't describe it. It isn't being sad, happy, content, or anything I can label. It is is just there. Maybe it is the amount of shit I've been putting up with lately or maybe I'm just not here right now.

I keep having weird dreams (think Wayne's World 2) and can't shake the fact that I'm supposed to be doing something different. I'm not sure what I should be doing but I sure the hell know what I shouldn't be doing and that is complaining.

Is this what apathy feels like?

Yesterday I spent a surprising amount of time not doing anything. I watched movies that I hadn’t seen yet and listened to New Order. That is the wonders of being sick you can justify doing absolutely nothing productive. I’m convinced I have the plague because my symptoms change daily.

Today will be more of the same. Maybe I’ll call my mom and get her to bring me some soup.

Rozie: “You should blog something.”

I really should but it will just be me complaining about getting sick.

At this very moment I feel like I’m fighting off death. I’m not really that sick I just have a sore throat and my entire body aches. This has been going on for two days. Two days of knowing I’m going to be sick it is just a matter of when.

Personally I hate being sick. I don’t know anyone who enjoys it, but when it is like this I have to “Man up” and still go to work. I’m at that in between stage between not being all that sick and the right amount of being sick to miss work.

I was talking to Dave today and he was telling me he hasn’t been sick since the 90’s. The fucking 1990’s. No colds, fevers, or anything well except when he gave himself food poisoning last year. This just boggles my mind because I’m sick like every year at least once. And when I say sick I mean cripplingly sick. Unable to leave my bed let alone go to work.

I’m the type of guy who doesn’t go to the doctor all that often and when I do I find out I’ve had pneumonia for the last two months. (This actually happened last year)

So I’m going to set the bath to boil, eat some cough drops, and drink some tea. Hopefully curing my ailments enough to go to a safety meeting tomorrow and keep me away from the witch doctors a day longer.